A few options: frame the cleanliness issue as one that directly impacts the health of your marriage and ask him how you can work together to address it. Or hire a friend who cleans houses, thereby creating a loophole in the “strangers” embargo. Or tell him to just ignore the cleaning you arrange like he ignores the grime.

We do well financially and could easily afford a weekly visit from a housekeeper, and I have begged my husband to allow us to hire one, but his culture also shuns “strangers” entering

My husband and I are in the middle age of life and have had a very happy marriage of almost 30 years. He adeptly manages the household, and I support our family financially by running my own successful small business.